"I don’t know if you’ve ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist. Or something like that. I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this. That’s why I’m trying not to think. I just want it all to stop spinning."
If there's one thing you should do while you're a young adult, it's read "The Perks of Being A Wallflower" by Stephen Chbosky. I've studied all the great historical novels, but I honestly think this is the most incredible piece of literature I have ever read. It changed my life. And I'm not saying that in a light hearted "Zomgg this book is saa good babez" kind of way, this novel genuinely revolutionised not only how I feel about myself, but how I view others, too. There's something very releasing about reading a book that mirrors your own thoughts. It makes you see that it's okay to feel like this sometimes; that a light's slowly burning out inside you and you honestly don't know why. So many young adults struggle to keep up with it all and have no way to express these unexplainable emotions, so it's kept under wraps in the hope eventually the darkness will disappear. But it never does, it just leaves this heaviness in the back of your mind, fogging up any opportunity to truly seize the day. I suppose that's why it's so beautiful to me that Chbosky can put that indescrible feeling of internal powerlessness into such perfect words. So I'm ordering you all to read it (yes, that's an order !) because if there's one thing I have ever learnt in my life, it's that it's alright to still be figuring out who you are and how it all came to be. I keep my copy of the book in my bedside drawer, because it always reminds me that it's okay to feel lonely, but that I'm never really alone.
"...and as of this moment, we were infinite."
